Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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