he puts the penis in happiness.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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