Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
