Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
