I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
