My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
