I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
