He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
