My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
