I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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