umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
