hotel room ftw
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
