Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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