I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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