The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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