at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Dick very happy bro
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
