we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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