can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
