tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
