just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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