i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
