I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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