When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
