i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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