Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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