2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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