It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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