just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
