don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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