Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
