you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
