I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
