the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
