A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
