he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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