you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
