evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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