is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
