So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
wow bdsm is so cute
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
