Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
