i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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