if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
