I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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