Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
