Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
