The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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