Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
