they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
