Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
even my farts smell like vagina
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
