Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I have already put on my inside pants.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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