Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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