feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
