i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
